How do you engage the disengaged when they’re determined to see you fail?
My first instinct here is to advise people to do the opposite of what they probably want to do.. and that's to lean in.
There is a massive difference between a team member who has checked out (quiet quitting) and someone who is actively disengaged... meaning it feels like they are actively rooting for the team, the project, or you, to fail.
Being stuck between an executive team demanding results and an employee trying to sabotage those exact results is one of the most isolating, head-banging-against-a-brick-wall experiences in leadership. Your natural human instinct right now is to lean out. You want to avoid them, micromanage their deadlines to catch them out, or get defensive. But as a manager, you can’t ignore it. You have to do the hardest thing possible: You have to lean in.
In my experience, toxic resistance usually comes down to a fundamental clash of unspoken expectations about how work "should" feel. For example, they might expect a promotion just for showing up for a year, while you expect them to actually grow and add value to earn it. When those unwritten expectations clash, frustration turns into sabotage.
If you are dealing with this right now, here's how I handle it without losing my mind:
Step 1: Have the uncomfortable, reset chat
To break the tension, you need to sit down with them. Don't go into this meeting highlighting their flaws or defending the corporate machine. Go in to figure out what is actually broken.
Check your ego at the door: If you go in hot, their defenses go up, and the meeting is wasted. Approach it with calm, objective curiosity.
Name the elephant directly: Don't beat around the bush. Say this: "I’ve been sensing a lot of friction lately between how you view the team's direction and what the business needs us to deliver. I want this to be a place where you can succeed, but right now, there’s a clear disconnect. I want to understand your perspective on where that gap is."
Shut up and listen: Let them air their grievances. You don't have to agree with their worldview, but you need to understand it. When you treat them as an adult with an opinion rather than an enemy of the state, you disarm the hostility and force the conversation back to mutual accountability.
Step 2: Build a firewall around your team
While you are trying to resolve the issue with the individual, your absolute priority must be protecting the collective. Active toxicity is a social contagion. An employee who wants the organization to fail will rarely suffer in silence—they will try to recruit an army. They are the ones whispering in Slack DMs, spreading cynicism after meetings, and slowly poisoning your good performers.
You cannot let them hold the floor.
Double down on your good people: Do not spend 90% of your emotional energy trying to fix one toxic person while ignoring the 80% of your team who are actually doing the work. Pour your support, time, and energy into the healthy tissue of your team.
Starve the drama of oxygen: When the rest of your team feels genuinely supported, valued, and clear on their goals, the saboteur loses their audience. The negativity gets isolated because the rest of the team simply doesn’t have the appetite for the drama.
The Bottom Line: It is incredibly easy to get caught in your own feels as a manager and pull away when someone rejects your leadership. But true leadership is leaning in exactly when it feels most uncomfortable. Clear the air with the individual, protect the sanity of the collective, and remember that clarity is always the kindest path forward.