Dear Penny: Get out of my way

Dear Penny,

I want to tell you about the best leader I’ve ever had. He was absolutely amazing. Kind. Caring. Courageous. Knowledgeable. Trustworthy. Smart. Supportive. Driven. Empathetic. Everything you’d really want in a leader. Interestingly, none of those traits are why I rate him so highly. Above anything else, his ability to just get out of my way was what I loved most. I learn by doing. By trying and failing. By experiencing what does and doesn't work for myself. I’m also very driven. I see what needs to be done and I do it. With that though, means I’m not very good at being told what to do. Thankfully, he recognised this very early and assumed the role I needed most: coach. 

What suited me best, as he understood, was someone to stand on the sidelines and cheer me on. Someone I could bounce ideas off or turn to for guidance once I was going. Someone who encouraged me to speak up and have my voice heard. Someone who was consistently there, regardless of how well the task or project went. Someone to pick me up, dust me off and encourage me to keep going when I failed. He was an unwavering safe space that regardless of how I did, would always give me back the reins. 

I often think of this one specific project we were working on. I had my idea, he had his, and as per usual, he let me rule out and roll with my idea. Did my idea and delivery of said idea work? Absolutely not. Did he know that would happen? Beyond reasonable doubt he knew. But you know what? Not once did he say I told you so. Not once did he even slightly throw that in my face or bring it up. He knew I’d learnt what I needed to and we simply carried on like it was just another day on the tools. Have you ever experienced a leader (or coach) like this? Who provides a safe space to try, fail and learn?

Having now completed over 25 onboarding sessions for HeyPenny and met leaders from across the motu, I’ve come to understand this style of leadership falls under the term ‘Servant Leadership’. What I’ve also come to learn is that most leaders fall into this category whether they know it or not.

At the start of every onboarding we ask leaders what they enjoy most about being a people leader. And whilst the answers vary in wording they rarely differ in meaning. Leaders talk about how they love watching someone find their feet, take on a stretch project, or walk into a room with more confidence than they had six months ago. Some talk about it outside of work entirely, mentioning a team member who went back to study, mended a relationship, or found their voice in ways that had nothing to do with a KPI. Have you ever watched someone light up talking about somebody else's growth?

So what actually is Servant Leadership, technically speaking? The term comes from Robert Greenleaf, who introduced it in a 1970 essay called The Servant as Leader. Greenleaf's argument was that the best leaders start from wanting to serve first and wanting to lead second. He also left behind a test that still holds up over fifty years later: do the people you’re leading grow as people under your leadership? Do they become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, and more likely to go on and become leaders themselves? I daresay my old leader nailed all of this without even knowing what it was.

The research backs up why this matters so much. Gallup has found that managers alone account for at least 70% of the variance in a team's engagement score, more than pay, more than perks, more than almost anything else an organisation can throw at the problem. Gallup also found that 67% of employees who strongly agree their manager focuses on their strengths are engaged at work, compared with just 31% when the manager focuses on their weaknesses instead. And roughly half of employees say they've left a job at some point specifically to get away from their manager. How a leader chooses to lead someone shapes whether that person stays, grows, or starts looking elsewhere.

So, to the leader who started all of this for me: thank you. Thank you for getting out of my way when it counted, for showing up every time I stumbled, and for never once making me feel small for getting it wrong. I don't know if you ever called yourself a servant leader, but you were one long before I had the word for it.

And to the leaders I've met across these onboarding sessions, the ones who keep choosing to ask how they can help their people grow instead of how they can get more out of them… thank you too. It takes courage to hand someone the reins knowing full well they might crash. Keep handing them over anyway.

Until next time, be patient, be generous, and get out of their way. They might just surprise you.